Beauty

I love taking pictures. I love (attempting) to capture beauty so I can take it in over and over again. I love looking back at snapshots of the people and places and events that illustrate the story of my life. I treasure them. These images evoke memories and emotions of all kinds and can transport me instantly to very specific moments in time. But somehow, these same images so often disappoint. They are never quite as beautiful as the original moment was. They are but a reflection of something greater that simply can’t be conveyed by shapes and colors, no matter how lovely the composition. Still I chase beauty from behind my camera…longing to have tangible remembrances of the goodness and gifts in my life to hold onto for the days my heart forgets.

But sometimes beauty stops me in its tracks. Sometimes it is so profound and palpable that it demands I be fully present to it. Without a camera. And so, there are many favorite days, moments, and memories for which there are no pictures…

They are still dear to me. And they are not forgotten.

My friend Rachel was ordained as a minister one Sunday afternoon last May. Though I walked into a church in Durham that I’d never been to before, nearly everything else about the service that afternoon felt like slipping into a favorite old sweatshirt. I was greeted with the broadest of smiles and the tightest of hugs. It was like being welcomed home after a long time away. But I wasn’t home. None of us were; we had all traveled hundreds of miles to celebrate the goodness of God in Rachel’s life and to affirm her calling.

Walking into that unfamiliar sanctuary, I knew there was going to be a joyful celebration. I knew there would be an incredible amount of love. I knew the Gospel would be proclaimed. All of those things were true.

It is also true that I was completely caught off guard by how powerfully beautiful it all was. What a gift it was to be with those people in that place to send Rachel out! The Rachel I had known since her middle school years. The Rachel many in that room had known since her birth. This same Rachel who had been following the call of God on her life in small and faithful ways since her youth was being ordained as a pastor.

There was so much beauty and goodness in that sanctuary. I didn’t want to constrain it by trying to contain it. There was too much of it to wrangle and too little of me to both capture it and be present to it. As the opening song began, I put my camera away. I didn’t want to miss anything.

Beaming and singing with tears streaming down my face, I drank it all in. The goodness of God was all around me.

I was plowed over by beauty that day…beauty that is imprinted on my heart in ways more detailed and exquisite than any photograph ever could be.